Friday, February 22, 2013





Welcome to all readers. 

I am 73 years old and working at being in nutritional ketosis á la Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida fame.

It's never too late to change your life for better.

The last few weeks have been trial by fire. I've always felt reasonably safe around family. I believe I've shown love and respect but lately I have not felt as though it has been reciprocated. There's been a lot of push and pull. A lot of talk behind backs but the worst damage has been done on the internet.

I am not completely without fault. That's hard to admit. I probably dug my own grave .... so to speak.

Deb wrote My advice is to let them choose whoever they darn well please to be that go-between. If they decide you are the one, fine. If not, even better. In fact, you might want to hing that someone other than you would be good. :) You're going on vacation in a month and having surgery in a few days. Maybe it's time to resign your post as the whipping boy.

On Sunday someone spoke to me at church. This someone had no idea that I was struggling with family pain. They kept saying to me I need to. "Let it go!" I was confused being unsure just which specific I needed to let go.

There is a process in taking your hands off something that seems very important to you.

I needed to be sure it was the right thing and I was not jumping on any old thing that was of concern to me.

I needed wisdom to be able to discuss this with others without playing the blame game or the victim.

I needed to find peace in my decision.

I needed to feel gracious in what seemed like defeat.

I remembered that The Battle is the Lord God of Hosts.

I remembered that Jesus stood silent before his accusers.

I remembered that forgiveness is not bitter nor holds grudges.

And I remembered that love is unconditional, forgiveness is unconditional, and I wondered how to do this without looking like a doormat.

Finally it is over. I feel as though I've been swimming with crocodiles. It felt nasty, scary, decidedly unpleasant and the longer I stayed in the water the greater the risk of being torn asunder.

Finally last night I composed two emails addressing questions and telling family I was standing aside from the process of being family contact with the Real Estate Agent., Two extremely bland emails. I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to justify myself that would not be used to fuel a fire of nastiness. It hurts but it's done.

As the eldest in our family I think I should have received greater respect but .... well there you are.

It will probably take me awhile to be in complete forgiveness toward those who I deem to have offended me.

To me forgiveness is incomplete until I can wish the person/people, who have hurt me, every good thing rather wishing come-uppance on them. The most difficult bits to forgive are when I see my husband and children hurt. I'm so glad I know the forgiveness of Jesus. How can I possibly hold grudges when He has forgiven me so thoroughly.

I hate appearing weak to others. Let's just say it takes greater strength than I possess to not retaliate with another session of 'He said, She said.'

Most of this could have been avoided if people had talked face to face or on the phone. Hence my description of the internet sometimes being a very dangerous place.

Many of us in blogger-space have seen relationships turn sour because of misunderstandings or carelessly worded emails or worse still, bullying. I thought this was something I knew how to avoid. I now join the club of those who have been mauled.

Tonight I can say, 'It is finished.'

I am not sure what will happen in the future. I am not sure whether a total family rift has been avoided. I'm not sure what kind of relationship I will have with certain people in future.

I do know this one thing. I am free to move on.

Whatever the future brings I will embrace it and make the most of our opportunities.

Bonus - I think my blood pressure is settling down and the fluid retention is reducing. Hopefully I'm on the way to another small weight loss.

Today is the two year anniversary of the biggest Christchurch Earthquake. Lots of sad memories and various of commemorating the day. Here is a link to a slide show of before and now.

We are looking forward to our visit to Christchurch. We arrive there in two weeks and stay 6 nights before flying to Hawaii.

You can see how I'm doing by clicking here or use the Tracker/Records tab at the top of the post.


  1. Well done you. Life is too short to bicker and whatever happens will happen. Go and enjoy your holiday, relax and get on with living. I hope you are feeling better... how is the face after surgery? I am glad you are letting it go.

  2. I agree with Linda, Enjoy your trip!

  3. I am so sorry you have been going through all this. Well done for your decision to move on. Enjoy your time in Christchurch and your holiday. Best wishes to you!

  4. Am proud of you, and I agree totally about the internet, it is sad that for most people including me, it is now how I communicate with friends, ok more acquaintances ... I do talk to my father nearly everyday on the phone and thats about it. I am thinking of quitting the internet and go back to the phone for talking to people I call friends and use the net for the others lol....And yes written messages can be so misconstrued over the net, people read how they want to read it and this gets people into trouble. Take care and hey you never know the cellphone might just ring very soon :)

  5. Ahhh, yes, my friend. Now comes the hard part--not grabbing it back...or fretting as tho it's your responsibility still. ( Voice of experience here, of course.)

    You can still provide input when it is requested, you know, just like your sibs could have done with you when you were the go to guy. You do still have skin in a stake in the proceedings and your opinions should be heard. then whoever is in charge can't come back and say "You should have told me that."

    Do to the one now in charge as you wish they had done with you. It's not all in or all out. Just take a step back and keep your hands off of the reins. :)

    Been praying for your face, eye and the surgery.


    P.S. We do know that "hing" was supposed to be "hint" and not some weird American lingo, right? chuckle.

    1. Oh, dear. I must proof my comments more closely! Ignore the "skin" in this comment. I meant to delete that and replace it with "a stake in the game." Sigh. Apparently, my "delete action" is faulty. And so it goes.

      And, MargieAnne--Yes, there is always way more than meets the eye. Hugs, girlfriend.


  6. Haha. I meant to edit that word.

    And yes I will certainly speak up when or if I have something important to say which will not fuel the ugly fire. I will be doubly careful in future as like all things there is more to this than meets the eye.


  7. You drew a line in the sand with your emails... and you are at peace with the situation.
    And you can move on.

    I wrote a blog post that I knew would be read... it was MY line in the sand.
    And now I too can move on, knowing that I did my very best over the past 16 months to bring various family members together again for the sake of EVERYONE in our family.
    It did not work, and I was hurt badly in the process, and denied access to 4 of our grandchildren.
    My blog post was my retaliation... petty but I felt good doing it so I could move on.

    It feels like a cancer in the family has been purged.

    ONWARD! to both of us. I hope you have no more problems mate.

  8. I'm so glad you have found a way to get this settled... and are on the road to healing. Healthwise, and also so you can go on your vacation and just relax, leaving the whole thing in the Lord's hands. I'm happy for you!

  9. I hope it was ok for me to mention on the blog.... if not I can remove, hmmmm (I am a bit confused on if you actually minded or not, and this is what I mean about how the written word can be taken different ways lol) . I had an awesome day, one of the best, will blog about it tomorrow :)

  10. Hugs to you. May the days ahead be relaxing and joyful.