Saturday, September 22, 2012




The sun shines on us.

Only 3 full days left in Christchurch and many things we still want to do while here.

Today we are booked to visit the farmlet this morning and a prison visit this afternoon followed by going back to the farm to see H and support her when the birds are collected.

Tomorrow we are booked for another prison visit and we will probably all go out to dinner at our sons favourite pub restaurant.

Monday we have lunch with Amanda's family, her parents and sister. This is becoming something of a tradition when we visit and I always look forward to it. Our rental car has to be returned before 4 pm.

Tuesday we catch our flight home and need to be at the airport before 10 am.

I have completely lost the plot foodwise, or at least feel as though I have but my weight seems to have stayed stable and I can still wear my denim capris with greater comfort that any other time. I have still not eaten wheat but we are eating gluten free products like delicious pancakes and last night we had a gluten free pizza. Personally I did not like the crust but we all felt like takeaway. It's been a busy and stress filled week.

We did get something crucial sorted out late yesterday afternoon. We went to the place H works and John and John pretended we had arranged to take her out to tea. Of course she didn't remember any such thing and wasn't interested but she was as nice as pie to his face as though none of the nasty stuff had happened, The nasty stuff was an email to Amanda and a letter to David, her partner, our son. This is typical of her behaviour. She will not stand up for herself face to face but vents her anger in other ways which are much harder to deal with. Anyway, as a family, we have agreed we will do nothing more to help without written confirmation from both our son and H. 

Amanda has put a LOT of time and effort into trying to sort things out that H couldn't or wasn't capable of doing. She has our support and approval but we do not have her energy or negotiation skills. We are very grateful for what she is willing to do in spite of the anger that is often directed at her. We all understand that some of this anger stems from H's embarrassment and inadequacy to manage alone. False Pride is a terrible thing.

About the birds. ... We phoned so many people trying to work out the best way to re-home them. They are worth on average $20 each but we don't have the time to hang around selling them 1 x 1 or even in pairs or groups on TradeMe. We listed them as a Give Away and were surprised to get a response within a few hours. The people who are coming today have a large private aviary and all the gear required to handle the birds safely. Edit. The birds were collected without fuss and everyone is happy. They will have a better home than the original.

Slowly, but not without pain, things are falling into line. Today is crucial for the good of future relationships.

10 pm

The day is over. We watched the final of Australian Master Chef and will go to bed in a few minutes. Today went as well as it could. Tomorrow is another full day. We will leave about 10.30 to pick up H and we will all go to visit together. It's extra driving for us, probably an extra 45 minutes each way, but well worth the effort. It will also give us a chance to catch up with the folk on the next door farm. They look for us when we are down and they are lovely people.



  1. It sounds like it's been a full week! I'm so glad the bird situation went well. The prison visits must have mixed emotions--good to see him, hard on the heart to see him there...

    I pray that the rest of your visit is productive and brings peace.

    We're leaving on vacation early Sunday morning, so I won't have access to a computer with magnification software till next Saturday.



  2. Family problems are hard to deal with. Especially if you use food for comfort like I sometimes do. Now of all times it's important to take really good care of yourself. Don't forget your plans and stay focused on your goals!!!!