Another two for one day
254 DAYS MAINLY WHEAT FREE
1/15 DAYS SIGNIFICANT ACTIVITY
TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS FOR 2012:- 27 kg/59.5 lbs
Welcome to my new readers.
It's never too late to change your life for better.
If you haven't worked out by now that I read a variety of Blogs then you haven't been around this one for long.
Every now and then I do a clean-up of my reader list. The questions are, 'Do I need to keep this on my list and will I miss it if I delete it?' The answer is usually a hard one and I have a few that fall into the 'not sure' category.
There is one that has become 'never delete this!' and it's all because of this story and the wonderful way the internet can work with the right attitude.
The story begins with Sue from RV Sue and the Crew meeting a military vet out in the dessert of Arizona. I'm not going to tell the story here so go visit Sue's latest post and I hope you have time to watch the video and news items she has linked to. I'm willing to bet you will end up with tears in your eyes.
I went to church yesterday and stayed in town for the evening service as well. There were guest speakers, from Natchez Mississippi. Today I am suffering with a headache and sinus from my offending eye. Was it worth being out for the whole day. 9.30 am to 9.30 pm. I guess so.
Excuse my doubts today as I struggle to get back to what is reasonably normal for me.
I had a wonderful time. I love to worship in the sanctuary. I got a little emotional catching up with friends for the first time in months. It should not be so long between visits. But there is also the background knowledge that John is being put out by all this. Not that he complains about having to drive me everywhere. He stayed with our daughter while I was in town with friends to avoid the double drive from home.
For the first time ever I had to battle with the attitude of friends. They did not understand the way I eat or if they did understand did not want to accept it as right for me. I deliberately kept things simple and low key but my hostess, a dear sweet friend, is also dutiful and anxious. For some reason she thinks she is failing if you are not constantly being fed or being fussed over in some way. I got questioning looks about not eating bread .... yet she is the very person who warned me off bread a few years ago. She served soup and when I said it was deliciously satisfying she couldn't believe me. I was offered fruit. I really did not want to eat a mandarin yesterday. I knew I was vulnerable to the sugars. I would not always turn down fruit but I was protecting myself. I was offered lollies and chocolate so many times it was embarrassing and in the finish I caved in. No great damage as it was only 2 small squares but I was annoyed because I did not find a way through. I was being killed with kindness.
It was not an easy environment. Normally I would have been more assertive. I had already said that I was on an experiment, cutting out wheat and dairy because I had developed some health problems which meant I needed to take drastic action. I explained that when I decided to become wheat free I lost a heap of weight during the first month and continue to slowly lose more weight.
The people in the house believe they walk by faith and had I been more outspoken I was fairly certain I would have been bombarded with 'all things being OK for those who are in Christ Jesus.' I would have been told that Christians should not have allergies or at the very least it would have been implied. I was not being listened to. No one, not even my friends, supported me. I felt most uncomfortable and tried to keep the conversation away from food. My friends are quite health conscious. The American pastor is not. He thinks he can expect God to do it all by faith with little respect for his own responsibility, ... or at least that was my reading of his attitude. My friends were strongly influenced by the American, who was a lovely, fun man except for this thing of healing. He bossed me about over my face. There was something just off-key. I know they all cared and wanted to see me healed but I got the feeling that if I wasn't healed it would be because I failed to have enough faith. Grrrrr!
To top it off when he prayed for me later he treated it as a stroke and not straight out nerve damage. Of course I hadn't told him what was wrong with my face but nor did he ask. He thought he knew it all. This morning with a little distance between yesterday and today, the thought that came to mind was arrogance. I hate feeling that critical but I feel as though I've been in a battle all day to get balance back in my life.
I believe the bible when it says in Isaiah 53:5 'By His stripes we are healed,' which is part of a prophecy declaring the complete work of the death of Jesus. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. I believe that people are healed by God, sometimes by the laying on of hands by another believer. I know God heals. I believe he created us. He has the master plan. He is all powerful. He is compassionate and more loving than any earthly parent. I don't need other Christians, no matter what their authority, implying that I do not have faith and am out of order in some way.
Is this little rant because I feel guilt? Yes of course. I don't like the season I am in. Often I am unsure of whether I'm backslidden and/or lazy. I do wonder if they are right and I am wrong.
The one thing I am 150% confident of is, that whatever the answer, my God loves me as much today as at the very beginning.
Today has been a day to restore my body soul and spirit.
I do apologise for airing my concern in a public place. I don't want sceptics picking up on this. I would rather that you accept none of us are perfect and within the 'church' we are well aware we are all flawed. It is possible to have respect for people and their faith and ministry but still be disappointed by aspects of their character.
It would have been so nice to receive a miraculous healing. Can you imagine how cool it would have been to post a photo today of my face completely healed? I know it's possible but this was not the time. That I was not healed instantly does not change who God is.
REPORTING BACK .......
I wanted to eat outrageously today. Somehow I've got through without too much damage. I'm glad there was no bread in the house. I debated removing my rant. It can stay because it involves aspects of faith faced by all Christians. I want my Blog to be real.
Coming to terms with yesterday would be enough but we are preparing to Fly to Christchurch on Thursday. We look forward tp seeing our family there but it's not going to be easy.There will be prison visits and time helping sort out the affairs of our eldest son and his partner. Talk about a mixture of dread and pleasure. We love going to Christchurch but it's not a fun trip these days.
HOW DID I DO? .......
Not great but not bad.
Yesterday I ate left over beef casserole and cauliflower mash, bacon hock soup, HB egg, small piece of cheese, 2 squares of chocolate, 3 or 4 rice crackers, rotisserie chicken, more cauliflower, and when I got home I was hungry as a horse. I had the remaining cauliflower mash with a homemade sausage and egg followed by almonds and a piece of dark chocolate. My servings were generally small so no harm done.
Breakfast:- Mushroom omelet
Lunch: Rice crackers, salami with red capsicum pesto. Almonds
Dinner:- Pork steak, pineapple relish, carrots and broccoli
Snacks:- Lindt chilli chocolate
Drinks:- Water x 0
Flavoured Tea Infusions x 4
Black coffee x 1
Daily Goal:- 1.5lt or 5 - 6 cups large *no*
Exercise:- Walk or Cross-trainer *no*
? minutes cross-trainer = ? km
September Total:- 4.5/60 km
BP:- 11th May 2012, 147/75
23rd May 2012, 135/75
15th June 2012, 135/85
17th July 2012, 137/75
3rd September 2012, 125/75 ... Meds changed. Accuretic becomes Accupril.
Weigh In 7.30 am
1st August:- 91 kg/200 lbs
1st September:- 87 kg/191.5 lbs
Start Weight:- 114 kg/251 lbs
2012 Weight Loss History
January:- 10.5 kg/23 lbs
February:- 3.5 kg/7.5 lbs
March:- 3.5 kg/7.5 lbs
April:- 3 kg/6 lbs
May:- 1.5 kg/3 lbs
June:- 2.5 kg/5.5 lbs
July:- + 1 kg/2 lbs
August:- 4 kg/8.5 lbs