Sunday, July 24, 2011

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG



Weight:- 7.30 am  -  ? kg

Energy Level:- on 1-10 scale = 5


General Well-being:- on 1-10 scale  = 5

Mood:- OK

TODAY'S PLAN

Sunrise Walk to beach:- NOT happening today,


Indulgence:- 2 slices of bread

Breakfast:- Cappuccino, Banana and plain Greek Yoghurt

Snack 1:- cappuccino

Lunch:- Cappuccino, 3 slices of bread with lettuce, cheese, beetroot pickle, butter and raspberry jam.

Snack 2:-

Dinner:- Casserole. Raw apple

Snack 3:- Rose wine. piece of Lindt chocolate

Drinking:-
Water x 0
Strawberry and Mango Tea, etc x 0
Coffee, black, unsweetened x 0
cappuccino with sugar x 3

Daily
:-Goal:- 1.5 lt. or 5 - 6 large cups *no*

Anti-candida pills etc.:- am Y pm Y

Exercise:- 30 minutes walk *no*
5 minutes cross-trainer *no*

Walks this week:- x ?

Total walked this week:- = ? km

Continues Today

My Challenge this week is to walk 9 km,

? km to go.

My challenge for the rest of the year is to walk 200 km.

? km to go


I'm not sure whether I'm ready to do this but I have gained a whole heap of weight during the last dew weeks.

Part of the problem is the backwards and forwards to Mum's but by far the greater hiccup was caused by a flare up of candida related blaahs and itchiness when I ran out of the Candida Support capsules and the new supply took weeks to arrive. I've been taking it for 10 days and there is some improvement. I'm beginning to get my mojo back.

At the same time there is a part of me that no longer cares what I weigh, how fat and lazy I get or how difficult it becomes to move around. I've lost interest in being healthy. Dangerous place to be. I see what has and is happening and I don't care enough to change anything. Is this depression?

I don't think it is but it's certainly a response which reads, "What's the point in swimming upstream any longer?"

At the same time there has been a growing awareness that I'm ready to do what is best for me again, which is just as well.

I've become a computer potato. I only walk when essential. The most I've done is shopping occasionally and up and down the stairs when at Mum's. I'm shrinking with muscle wastage. I guess I've almost lost hope of a better life. I know life is what I make it but there are some things I cannot change and I have to admit it gets me down.

I don't have to care for Mum this week, I think, so the next 8 or 9 days can be lived on our terms. It's a good opportunity to try and get a bit of sanity back and reinstate my healthy routine.

Keeping track here is the first step.

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