Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 17

Days Gluten Free x 0

Weight 7.30 am - 98.0kg

Dietary Ketosis *no*

Breakfast:- Berry Protein Smoothie

Snack:- nuts

Lunch:- toasted sandwiches 4 slices toast bread, cheese, onion, butter

Snack 2:- nuts

Dinner:- braised steak with onion and tomato, winter mash

Snack:- 2 dried apricot. 6 almonds.

Drinking:- Water x 0
Strawberry and Mango Tea, etc x 2
Coffee, black, unsweetened x 4

Daily Goal:- 1.5 lt. or 5 - 6 large cups *no*

Exercise:- 30 minutes walk *no*
5 minutes cross-trainer *no*

Walks this week x 0

Total walked this week = 0 km

Starts Today

My Challenge this week is to walk 19 km, 19 km to go.

My challenge for the rest of the year is to walk 500 km, 496 to go.

I'm still embarrassed by my lack of progress. The last week has been a struggle emotionally and physically. I don't know why life becomes so hard.

Had a wonderful Sunday but I did stay out too long to go to evening service which wasn't worth it. Monday I was overtired and had to go to Mum's Was not happy and really tired and cross when I got home. Shouted at John that life not worth living. Finances too tight and looking bad. sleepy all day Tuesday, feeling better today. Don't know how much the itchiness and antihistamines are affecting me. I'm lucky to get 6 hours sleep at night and not often I doze off during the day. I wonder how much Jay's gathering of the clan for Labour Weekend is affecting me. I'm still shocked that Jenny is no longer with us and then there is the problem between my own children and knowing that D is unwelcome. It hurts more than I can say even though I fully understand .... perhaps a lot more than they know. I don't think any of them realise how much I know. This should have been resolved years ago but gets worse as they grow older. I don't know what to do except pray and trust God. It's so unfair to have this blight working like a yukky rot through their lives. Recently I was looking at some photos of Jay and Os and how happy they were. The mess in our family is at least partly responsible for them breaking up. I'm so sick of all this and wish I could be elsewhere at Labour Weekend. The pain is horrible but somehow I'll get through regardless of this underground stuff.

I need to get my act together and move!

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